Have you ever wondered why a woman feels so hurt and so easily? And did you know that every woman has a first love? A couple came for a consultation the other day. The woman\’s complaint was that she was a victim of his anger. The husband was justifying his stand that anger simply happened and he believed that it saved him from defeat. To him life was him versus the others. I had to let him know why his wife was so hurt every time he showered his anger around. It made a difference to him and he realised what he needed to do to become a better person. He could finally find the answer to the one question every man needs to ask – What does she really want? Here are some of the reasons why a woman feels so hurt and so easily.
Childhood – Why does a woman feel so hurt and so easily
As a girl grows up, she develops a strong bond with her parents. Her mother becomes her best friend and her father becomes her first love. This sacred relationship between both parents run very deep. No matter how the parents are, they are, for the girl, a friend and a hero. This relationship is nurtured through childhood into adolescence.
Her mother becomes her best friend and her father becomes her first love
Adolescence – Why does a woman feel so hurt and so easily
Puberty is a period when the girl chooses, which behaviour to nurture and which ones to discard. This is a phase of discovering one\’s priorities and preferences. This is also a time when the bond with the mother becomes closer than ever. The relationship with the father matures to a more serious one. She makes new friends who are more tuned into her preferences and choices. The father is meant to guide his daughter from here and onwards with lesser impositions and restrictions. If you do know the difference between being a guide and a mentor, it\’s time you investigate.
This is a time when the young woman decides what she wants in life. This includes the friends she will make that will last longer. She is more serious towards her career options and opportunities in life that will strengthen her personality. Mother continues to be a close friend. The father however, is only a guide by now. Are you a guide or a mentor? Some women take a step aside and choose a partner. This happens when the external influences are stronger than inner strengths. A friendship may turn into infatuation and may grow into a courtship. It\’s time you know – Does your partner really love you!
Marriage – What does she really want?
This is the most important part of a woman\’s life for reasons more than one. The positive ones are few but, I will let the woman experience it. Here are the challenges that men need to know that the woman goes through.
She leaves her best of friends whom she has known from the time she was born. She leaves her first love to marry a person whom she believes, loves her. This is true. Most men are attached to the woman they are marrying. Very few really love their woman. If you want to know whether you love your wife or you are attached to her, see for yourself, how many times do you tell her to do something instead of asking her what she\’d like to do. It is important for you to ponder on this one question – What does she really want?
She adopts the name of the husband or the family she gets married to. This is a trauma for the woman who drops the name of her first love and adopts another surname as her own. Well, it does not end here.
The woman tolerates all of this and finally believes that her husband is with her and for her. This is where all the trouble begins. Men don\’t get what their woman wants. They assume the \”chalega\” or its okay attitude and behave as they like.
Men more often impose upon their spouse rather than include her in decision making.
The woman so much wants her husband to be the best so that she can see her hero blossom. She then tries to get her husband demonstrate to her children that he is the hero of their life. It is when the man doesn\’t get these simple truths that she loses her tolerance. That\’s when all the outbursts begin.
The man, who has had his way all those years behaves as if his woman is up in arms against him. All she wants is that her husband be the guide that she needs in her life. Are you the guide she is looking for? Much needs to be learnt by the husband. Age is no criteria for transformation. Know that your woman still waits for that day patiently, when, you will turn around and tell her; I know what you really want.
— Mahesh Krishnamurthy