Three ways to get your kids to obey you

Vimala (name changed) brought her son for a consultation. After diagnosing, investigating and evaluating his diagnosis through Nadi Pariksha, I told her what needed to be followed so that his body can return to normalcy once again. After a short discussion, Vimala asked her son to sit outside so that she can speak to me in private about some issues that were bothering her. Her son protested saying, I want to sit here. She asked me; \”How do you get your kids to obey you?\” One of the most prevalent problem in society today is that youngsters do not know how to behave with elders. The influence of disobedience is all over the place. Everyone wants to feel important and so, they don\’t want to listen, nor obey. There are three ways to get your children to obey you. These are the three ways for parents to correct your children.

Three ways to get your kids to obey you

There are primarily three ways to get your kids to obey you. Why only three ways? This is because there are only three kinds of interactions with kids. In fact everyone needs to follow these three ways. Kids are the way they are because their parents did not set an example for them. Just by following the three simple ways, every possible communication with your kid and vice versa will get straightened out. It is important and necessary to correct your children when you can.

Listen when you are being spoken to

When parents or elders speak, one must not interject. This is because, when elders speak with you, it is time to learn. Learning happens from listening. In Sanskrit, this is called Sravanam, meaning – listening. Listening is a very important part of learning. Did you know that children first listen to alphabets even before they see or read them? The only way children will listen is when adults listen to children. If you don\’t practice listening, you cannot teach your children listening and that\’s because, children learn also by observing. So correct your behaviour so that, that can correct your children behaviour.

Obey when we instruct you

Children often protest when parents give instructions and then there is confrontation and conflict. Children who do not obey demonstrate bad behaviour. The word obey comes from obedience. Obedience means to do what you are told to do. Why is this so important? I have seen many grand parents interfere between their daughter and grand child when the mother is firmly instructing the child to do something. This is not good. Children learn by doing. And they cannot be selective in what they want to do because they have no idea what is good for them and what isn\’t! It is only from repetitive experience that you learn what actions produce what kind of results. This is one of the easiest ways to correct your children behaviour so that you can have your kids to obey your instructions.

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Parents are the only ones who will give instructions that are beneficial to you. They do not have any personal expectations. Their only expectation is that you excel in life. So, it makes sense listening to them. It prevents children from reinventing the wheel. Also, what is important is that the young parents also listen to their parents so that they set an example for children to follow. Many a times, I see parents not exhibiting the value of what they ask their children to perform. When parents don\’t follow, children do not have a reason either to obey their parents. Furthermore, what parents follow must be so bold and transparent so that their exhibition of behaviour and actions overpower the external influences that children are exposed to.

Answer when we ask you

When children are spoken to, they often interject. Children need to be taught that they will speak only when they are asked to or when an answer is sought from them. There are also kids who are so distracted by their mobile games or the television that they don\’t even listen to the question being asked.

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In our childhood days, we were punished for interjecting and also for asking counter questions. Children these days do not prefer to answer questions asked to them. They instead ask a counter question which they expect to be answered by the parents. This is also an example of bad behaviour.

When you ask your child a question, and if they ask you a counter question, do remind them calmly, that they need to first answer the question. It is important for children to understand that they are not equal to their parents. Parents are guides, gurus, mentors who reveal the path to you and they do it selflessly.

In Conclusion

This blog article can be summarised very simply. Parents need to set the examples that children will follow. Children need examples. Mere instructions will not get your children the clarity and direction that they need to obey you. So, set the examples by listening to your parents, obey their instructions and answer their questions.

— Mahesh Krishnamurthy

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