Sahana (name changed), a girl of 16 years came with her mother for a consultation. After her mother\’s consultation, it was Sahana\’s turn. From my diagnosis, investigation and evaluation of performing her Nadi Pariksha, I found more than usual restlessness, anxiety and behavioural issues in her. Sometimes, to get to the root of the problem, it is important to befriend the child so that there is no resistance or perceived threat in communication. And that\’s what I did. As we chatted, Sahana revealed to me some realities that sent a shiver down my spine. Teen behaviour, if unregulated, can lead them off track and into the dangerous alleys in adolescence. Unregulated exposure with friends and social media content can sometimes scar their lives forever.
Sahana asked me; why do Sadhus in the Himalayas smoke pot? I replied to Sahana saying; I won\’t tell your mother, tell me what happened? Sahana shared that when her parents went holidaying leaving her alone at home, she called her friends over and they all smoked pot or ganja. I shuddered. I asked her; where do you get this stuff? She replied; Just about everywhere. She also mentioned that all her friends smoke pot when they are studying.
Is your child enjoying unregulated time? You must watch out for who her friends are and what influences she is giving into.
Most teens I meet, come from extremely decent families. However, their unregulated access to technology is worrisome.
Causes that lead to worrisome teen behaviour
There are several causes for teen behaviour to become worrisome. The primary reason for worrisome teen behaviour is unregulated access to online content and social media. The secondary reason is inadequate family time. Father\’s especially, need to spend more time with the child. No amount of giving reasons can makeup for the time you need to spend with your teen children.
Friends are needed. But, that too needs to be regulated. Who is worthy of being a friend!
Why so much regulation is needed?
Parents bring their teen daughters to meet me almost every other day. One of the biggest challenges I am facing is that these parents bring their children when the children have left no experience for their future. Almost all of these children have had physical relationships. It is so disturbing.
What is more disturbing is the fact that most parents are unaware that their children have gone through such experiences.
One such child came to me last year. She was from a middle class family. She was wooed by a boy. Bad influence got this girl to befriend the boy. After a few months of roaming around, the unimaginable happened. After their physical experience, the boy dumped her. Her repeated calls to him went unanswered. She was devastated and she couldn\’t confide in her orthodox parents.
What you can do to regulate your teen\’s behaviour
There are several ways you can regulate your teen\’s behaviour. Here are some tips.
- Do not buy expensive mobile phones.
- If your children insist on having a social media account, encourage them to create a page in your social media account. Never allow them to have a social media account of their own.
- There are literally so many apps connected to social media accounts that teens use. Most of them can be very dangerous if they are unregulated by parents.
- Watch the words your children use while speaking with you.
- Engage them in hobby classes so they have less time for distractions
- Discourage your children from retorting to elders.
- Your children retorting must not be thought of as being smart.
- Regulate their access to shopping malls and going to movies. Much more happens that what you believe you know.
- Have a hawk\’s eye on whom they befriend. The company of friends they keep can inspire them or mislead them. Either ways, your child will believe what they\’re experiencing to be the correct path.
- Encourage your children to bee clean in their minds.
- Ask your children to share their mobile passwords with them so that you can access when it is needed.
What parents must do to improve teen behaviour
- Spend more time with your teen children. Father\’s especially need to spend more time exposing their children to nature, fun outings, etc. Show your children that you are their hero. Girls especially, lookup to the hero in their father. When they don\’t find him, they go out looking for a hero.
- Be clean in your desires
- Be creative and engage your children in your creativity
- Let your children know your mobile password.
- Be religious. Visit a local temple, or your shrine regularly. This is important because your children must know that someone is watching them. This will restrain them from making mistakes in life.
- Be the example you want your children to follow.
- Watch family movies together.
- Regulate your mobile and television time so that your children can also follow what you do
- Do you have your life\’s vision in place? If you don\’t, it\’s time to get your vision in place so that your children too will feel inspired to have a vision and progress on their path
- Below are some very important earlier blog content which will help you immensely
Our children will turn out to be copies of whom they follow. Children follow that which influences them the most. So, be the greatest influence on them. Each one of us have our own ways of doing it. Do share what you do differently that has inspired your children to be on the path.
— Mahesh Krishnamurthy
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