A relationship between a man and a woman depends on several unspoken expectations from the woman. We are specifically discussing this topic because men more than often, find convenient ways to navigate through situations as it is seemingly easier and less stressful. Women usually take the trusted path, even if it means that they have to face some challenges and hardships on the way. Honesty and transparency are two qualities that women expect their men to exhibit. Are you honest and transparent with your wife? How can you win your wife\’s trust? How can you get your wife to believe in you?
Trust doesn\’t increase by Sharing everything with your wife
I met a Swamiji who once told me; do not share all information with your wife, especially about finances. Some matters must be kept close to your chest. Play it safe. It does not mean she won\’t trust you! Women are emotional. Do not share financial matters with them.
I am not sure whether to trust this information shared by the Swamiji or not. Because the Swamiji was never married. So, how do we deal with this information?
Well, this is what I learnt from experienced people.
Let life be an open book
Between you and your wife, let life be an open book. What does this mean? You don\’t have to go on reporting to your wife about everything that is happening in your life! That\’s outrageous. That is a sign that you are mesmerised by something in your wife that\’s caught your attention and you are not able to let go of it. And that is why you want to please her every time so that you can have more and more of her.
Honesty shows on your face. Trust builds over time.– Mahesh Krishnamurthy
The above statement about being the open book means that all matters about you must be accessible to your wife. There must be nothing hidden. Trust does not come from sharing everything with your wife. However, there are some information that are accessible, yet not discussed. For example; finances. This is because, when hard times come, man will take some measures to make money available at home for the house to run. A woman, who may be overtly sensitive, immature and inexperienced in these matters may cast doubt and aspersions about her man\’s ways and may weaken his resolve to keep the family afloat during bad financial times.
Winning your wife\’s trust
It is not important to share everything with your wife to prove to her that you are honest with her and trustworthy. What is important is how you win her trust. It is obvious from the countless examples we have around us that you cannot win the trust of your woman through conceit or deceitful ways. Honesty shows on your face. Trust builds over time.
A woman usually feels her way through. She judges less but accepts more of how things are. That way she keeps her heart clean. However, her mind is a mess because of the confusion that erupts in her when a man says something, means something else and does something entirely different. This is where all hell breaks loose.
How women perceive honesty
What it means to be honest with your wife is simply like this. If you say a certain thing, be clear what you mean when you communicate with her. Further, act on it. When you think, it shows on your face. When you speak, you express your thinking. And when you act, it must all fall in line. That, to a woman is honesty.
You might be honest. But, if you said something, and did not act on it, it doesn\’t measure upto being honest with her. You could very easily let a women down by simply not acting on what you spoke about with her.
Next time you speak with your woman, be careful about what words come out of your mouth because, she is listening very intently. She trusts you. You cannot make your wife happy by just holding her hands and taking her to a movie! Being practically honest is one sure way of winning your place in her heart.
— Mahesh Krishnamurthy