Does emotional pain of your son, daughter, spouse, friend, parents or siblings affect you? A client called me a few months ago and said that she was having a brotherly affection towards a doctor who treated her. He too reciprocated in the same brotherly fashion. However, a few months later, he began to demand more time and attention from her. He was behaving like a baby. For her, the attachment was like a string around her neck. She felt strangulated by his demand for attention. Do your relationships also have similar tags? Then you need to arrive at a point of indifference.
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Love and Attachment
We all have learnt the word love and attachment and, we believe we know what they mean! We use love as a term to express our attachment to that person! How funny. Love and attachment are not the same. In fact, when you love someone, you can’t be attached to that person. And when you are attached, you cannot love that a person any more!
Confused? I too was confused until I discovered the truth.
I am sure you would have read to the phrase, if you love something let it go, if it returns, it belongs to you, if it doesn’t….
Attachment ruins relationships
When mothers wait anticipating a call from their children and children fulfil their mother’s wish. It all seems to fit well. What binds the two? Love or attachment. You might choose to rubbish every word I am saying, but, the truth is, attachment ruins relationships.
Where waiting is painful, there’s no love and where waiting is beautiful, there’s nothing but love.
An anecdote
A client called me a few months ago and said that she was having a brotherly affection towards a doctor who treated her. He too reciprocated in the same brotherly fashion. However, a few months later, he began to demand more time and attention from her. He was behaving like a baby. For her, it was like a string around her neck. She felt strangulated by his demand for attention.
Arriving at a point of Indifference
Cutting the ties that bind, is an excellent practice to help people free themselves from attachment and resume living in love – Arrive at a point of indifference. Love is like the desert sand. The more you try to hold on, the more it slips away. When you are not in your awareness, you want to hold it even more tightly. Then, you cry and fight when the sand begins to slip. You claim that you love whereas, the truth is that you just want to hold unto the relationship.
Doesn’t it all seem so selfish? Let me know what you think in the comment section below.
Excellent!