Your children are very keen observers. They notice every move you make and learn very quickly and adapt to the environment they are growing in. They express little or no resistance, which makes them mould themselves quickly.
The growing up years
Until the age of 3, your children learn from the home environment. Learning is enhanced in play homes and kindergarten. Language, vocabulary, mannerisms, habits and traits are learnt from all places. Since these children spend more time within the four walls of your home, most of the learning comes from here.
Adolescence
The urge to experience life independently begins from about the age of 8. You, the parent, during these years are also stressing your children to focus more on studies and are more vigilant. Children get pulled up for their pranks more often and are scolded. All words, phrases, sentences, abuses, appreciations, you use while in conversation with anyone are picked up by your children without a filter.
The pre-teens
As your children grow into their pre-teens, they begin to perceive their world independently. firstly, they ask you for a room for themselves. Then, they seek privacy. By now, your children have the ability to speak almost every sentence you speak. They are actually copying you. Your children begin to believe that they are now as capable as you are! And, they begin to answer you when you are pulling them up for their irresponsibility.
The belief that they are now equal to you and match up to you word for word and your children begin to argue with you. You as a parent, give in so you can maintain peace and calm in the environment and your children perceive that they have won this argument. This is what makes them arrogant.
Some parents react to their child\’s behaviour. You, the parent, don\’t have to react to your child\’s arrogant behaviour. Be patient and humble. Your children don\’t have a clue about your formative years. They speak from ignorance. The only way to bring them out of their arrogance is to stop reacting and instead respond to them. You can speak with them, and give them some wise guidance through phrases.
We like to share some phrases we use/d with our child!
There is a difference between you overpowering your parents\’ and parents supporting you at all times! The difference is, when you overpower your parents, you will for sure trip and fall. Bask under your parents\’ guidance and support. Do not tell them what is right. Listen to them.
How to be good children
You are being watched at all times by someone who believes you to be the example for them. Be the best example.
In life, you can fall any way, forward, backward and side ward. But, there is only one way you can stand and that is upright and that is possible when you are honest with yourself.
Don\’t do any such thing that will stop you from looking into your parents\’ eyes with love.
Always listen to your parents. Absorb the guidance. And choose to connect to your inner guidance. Meditation when started young can become a lifelong asset that will guide you through life.
Choosing friends
Friends have a powerful influence over your behaviour. Someone I knew had a very strong perspective about life and it goes like this;
Better alone than in bad company.
Be very careful with the kind of friends you make. The friends you make must be those who will inspire you to be better. Allow God to be your first friend and guide. Next come your physical friends. That way, you will be doubly sure about the kinds of friends you will make.
Instead of crying from your experience, learn from it. Your learning will make you strong and wise. You will also save crying over a similar experience later in life.
Parents have a role to play
Parents are your guardians until you graduate from college. Our responsibility is to nourish you every which way, and your responsibility is to listen to us. When you listen to us, you are consciously choosing between your ego and nurturing guidance which is non-threatening. With practice you will be able to choose your inner guidance over your ego.
Live everyday is such a way that you will smile remembering your growing up years.
You don\’t realise the ability you have within you. Don\’t waste it away carelessly. Ask us if you need help to discover them.
Follow the ABC of life – Always Be Careful.
— Mahesh Krishnamurthy
