Can you get my friend out of depression?
Can you get my friend out of depression? Asking this, Harsh was weeping one morning and his family had no clue what was going on. His mother enquired with Harsh. He said that his friend had suddenly changed. He said, Ankit has become quiet and withdrawn. He is not answering my calls nor is he speaking with me. My friend is depressed.
Harsh and Ankit are very close friends.
I was in their house on that day. So, the family set up an appointment to have Ankit meet me. Ankit came with his mother and grandmother while Harsh came with his aunt, an Ayurvedic Doctor who learnt Nadi Pariksha from one of my training programmes.
Harsh held my hand and asked me; Can you get my friend out of depression?
I diagnosed Ankit’s physical, emotional and psychological health through Nadi Pariksha (Ayurvedic Pulse Diagnosis). As the diagnosis happened, I had a smile on my face. I was happy that Ankit was not depressed. Further diagnosis revealed that he was unhappy with unfulfilled desires. And he was also anxious about his future. I told Harsh; your friend is not depressed.
I spoke with Ankit and asked him what he was afraid of! And, I also enquired with him about what desires had gone unfulfilled!
Ankit hesitated at first. But, when I told him that I had no interest in his story, he revealed his fear of not getting a job and the pressure of performance that loomed large over his head. His desire was to perform well and that was creating all of his stress.
Be a solution, not a problem
Very often, psychiatrists spend less and required time with their clients and choose to medicate instead. Talking to a patient doesn’t pay as much as seeing 5 patients in the same time. So, Psychiatrists turn to drug therapy instead. Here is a scholarly article published in NewYork Times. This approach does not help patients recover. It actually pushes them deeper into misery.
I coached Ankit to focus on the effort and not the result. I gave him my own examples and that of several others. Ankit, who was not smiling until then, saw a ray of hope and let out a smile.
My work with him did not stop there. I still had a long way to go. I investigated with his mother. She was a single mother. When I enquired about how she felt when Ankit was born, she told me that her motherly feelings did not kick in to hold baby Ankit until the doctor asked four hours after Ankit was born; whether she had held Ankit in her arms.
Further, Ankit’s mother, who was staying with her in-laws, was hoping that Ankit will get a big fat job and then, she, with Ankit, can live separately. This was putting pressure on Ankit. And Ankit father had separated from them several years ago.
Ankit must have developed feelings of rejection. And these feelings run deep.
I introduced a few confidence building practices and several other practices to improve his self worth and find his pillar of strength within him. Ankit practiced them and almost immediately felt better. He smiled and said that he felt a little more confident than before.
Ankit went back to college today to attend his campus interview. Let us all wish him well.