How to talk so kids will listen
How to talk so kids will listen? Mostly parents assume that they can talk to kids and if kids don’t listen, we order them to listen. We parents too did this and realised quickly that it doesn’t work. Then, the questions followed; do we listen to kids? Do we need to put our kids into some course on listening practice? Do we have to get them to take some listening test online?
I initially started searching for how to talk so kids will listen manual and the kind. Then, I did a lot of soul searching. I also engaged in live at home learning with kids and from my work with my clients and the local environment.
My research and learning on how to talk so kids will listen, got me some strategies which I applied on my kids. I was watchful and alert as I listened to their answers and watched their expressions. Things worked and today, they look upto me and I am their hero.
So, here I am, sharing some of the strategies I use with my kids so you too can learn how to talk so kids will listen.
We as parents need to be active listeners when our children are talking to us. How often do you actively listen to yourkids? There have been times, when my daughter is talking to me and I am listening but my eyes are glued to my mobile phone. The next time I need to have a conversation with my daughter, I see the very same thing repeating. When you have to actively listen to your kids, put away everything you are doing a give a keen ear to what they are saying. Make eye contact. You may want to take the listening test online. It is for parents, children, students, everyone.
Benefits of active listening
When you listen actively, you are telling the mind, you’re not important. You are also telling yourself, I decide what I will give value to. This practice will help you restrain the mind. The mind is a very powerful tool. You need to use the mind very cautiously and carefully. It is a very faithful servant, but an awful master with no sense of direction, if you consider to trust it.
Restraining the mind will help you stay away from bringing yourself to harm. Restraining the mind will help you stay away from social media, toxic people, inappropriate places, and even creating unrealistic desires. Most importantly, you will learn to use words appropriately and cautiously so, that will help you learn how to talk so kids will listen.
How to talk so kids will listen
Most parents love to talk. I’m not telling that’s not okay! But what’s more important for you to know is the fact that your children are watching you all the time. When you come to to my house, you will see me being watched by three pairs of eyes. And three pairs of ears are intently listening. One pair of eyes will look at me indicating to me where I went wrong. If you guessed it right, the third one is my wife.
Why must we learn how to talk?
People often believe children need to be trained. My belief is that if you want your children to do something different from what they are, then they require training not to be themselves. As parents, we have the responsibility of setting an example for our children to follow and that’s how they will be.
Words carry power. Choose them wisely. Your children will repeat what you speak. When I speak with my kids, I am usually very cautious about what I speak. My wife has more than often pointed out during conversations, that our children repeat what we have spoken before. We don’t prepare before we speak with our children! We are just aware.
Keeping a tab on what your children are upto is very important. In this internet age, children are more on online content and less on studying. Children, being naive, do not realise the impact a habit on the mind. So, my wife or me often check on our children’s activities. What becomes important is how we go about it.
We avoid asking our children the “why” kinds of questions; Our son wasn’t practicing writing and instead was drawing animals and military tanks. We had to confront him. We had two ways of confronting him. We could ask the “Why” questions such as; why are you spending so much time drawing and not writing? or we can ask the “What” kind of questions such as; what are you drawing all these animals and military tanks for and what is stopping you from writing?
I used to ask the “why” questions before and realised that he would immediately feel guilty in his tender heart. Hurt or guilt was not the way to promote my son to learn.
So, I learnt. Now I ask my son the “what” kind of question; So, when I see my son drawing and not practicing writing, I asked our son the other day; What is it you are drawing so much for? And what is stopping you from writing? He then answered; I didn’t feel like writing. So, I was drawing.
My son was straight and fearless. The questions made him feel that I was only asking him and not threatening him with a question.
I have seen better results in our children’s behaviour and vocabulary when we parents look for imperfections in our own behaviour and vocabulary and erase them from our dictionary of words. Children are very quick to adapt to any change we put them to. It may not be appropriate to blame them. They are simply absorbing whatever influences them.
The road ahead
When you practice active listening with your children or your parents, your mind is definitely your tool. You can then practice actively listening to your inner voice. Listening to your Inner Voice will help you live with a high sense of self love, self worth and self confidence. You can use our Maypole Meditation and Cosmic Tree audio guides to connect with your Inner Voice.