His life was straight out of a movie

The other day, a principal of a reputed school called me seeking help for one of her students, a boy of 13 years. She said the boy’s parents were crying for help and that they were sitting in front of her. So, I slotted an appointment for them to come and see me the same afternoon.

The family came in. As usual the boy’s parents began complaining how their son was absenting himself from school.

I spoke to the boy in front of them. His answers were in whispers which at times I could barely hear. After about 15 minutes, I asked his parents to sit outside and had a one-to-one conversation with the boy. At first, he was hesitant. When I assured him that I don’t judge people, he began interacting.

From the hour long interaction I had with him, I realised that the boy feels unloved by his parents. He feels his parents didn’t want him. He also shared with me that he was in a hostel for two years. His story made me feel that his life was straight out of the Tare Zameen Par movie.

My interaction with the boy was almost over. I asked him to sit outside and asked for his parents to come in. When I asked his parents what they thought about their son, the father said, he wanted his son to become a doctor.

The principal had mentioned that the boy was an intelligent child and scored very well. So, I didn’t know where the problem was. And I asked the boy’s parents to continue telling me about their son. When the husband and wife started sharing information sometimes individually and sometimes together, I pieced the information together. That’s when I realised what was happening with the boy.

To make their son more studious, the parents consciously neglected him. They shared with him pictures of them with their relatives children only to get their son to be even more studious. What his parents did frustrated the boy and his mind became restless. He didn’t know where to turn to for help. He began locking himself up in his room and slept all day.

He created his comfort space. He realised he needn’t get out of his room and face the world. So, he slept all day. At night, he’d stay awake watching movies.

His parents simply didn’t get it. The father pursued his desire to make his son a doctor and put him in boarding. The first year went by. At the end of the second year, the boy refused to go back to boarding. So, they put him into this school.

I asked the boy’s mother what she felt about putting the boy into boarding and she said, she wasn’t even asked. Decision was taken by her husband.

Now that he wasn’t attending school, the father was contemplating on putting him back in boarding.

I spoke to the boy’s parents and asked them whether they were ready to lose their son! Further, I asked them what difference does it make to them with what he grew up to become! Their son was studious and responsible. I helped them see a different perspective, a different way to address the situation on hand. They saw a new possibility.

As a matter of chance I asked them, how many times have you taken your child on a holiday! They said… never.

To me, this boy was on the brink of depression. The principal had saved him in the nick of time by getting help to him.

I suggested that they first restore their love for their son and then take their son out on a picnic.

In the evening the family came and this time their daughter was also present. The father came to show himself. I performed his Nadi Pariksha. After the diagnosis, I asked him, how important is others opinion of you to you? In different words he said that was all that mattered. We had nailed the root cause of the boy’s condition.

My work with the boy’s father took more time that what I took with the boy. My work with the boy was accomplished and work with his father has just begun.

Two days later I called the principal to give an update. She answered my phone call and said I’ve done a miracle. I asked her to clarify her statement. She said, the boy has resumed school. She also mentioned that the way he wishes her a good morning reassured her that the boy was okay.

Many a time, we as parents assume that we know it all and take action which at times backfires on our children. How much do we really know? I’d like to answer this question for you… actually we know nothing. Give your children a chance. Listen to your children patiently. If you can’t do that, find someone who can help you listen to your children and also get your children back on track.

You are the best example your children can find in this world. So, be the best parent they can ever find.

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Embrace happiness before you lose it to illness

Embrace your happiness before you lose it to an illness

I see people everyday. Many of the people who come to consult with me are facing high fasting blood sugar levels, high blood pressure, body pains, lack of sound sleep and several other symptoms that seem to have erupted out of thin air. They have a good job that pays them handsomely, their families are happy and yet, they suffer.

He one thing thats common amongst all these people is that they are in the wanting to do what they love doing. They look so tired from doing their mundane jobs that only finance their lifestyle but doesn’t fire their passion that they fail to understand what’s wrong and where. And how can they come out of this suffering.

One such person came to me for a consultation. He looked okay but he wasn’t cheerful. So, I performed his Nadi Pariksha (Ayurvedic Pulse Diagnosis that can also reveal redundant habits, mental patterns, attitudes and your dysfunctional parts of your personality). The diagnosis revealed that he was agitated, frustrated and he was losing sleep. He also had stiffness in his neck, increasing fasting blood sugar levels and high blood pressure.

When I discussed my diagnosis with him, he wasn’t surprised. He knew why his body was throwing out these symptoms, but he wasn’t prepared to do what he so much wanted to.

He loved teaching but, he knew it would pay him only a fraction of what his current job was paying. So, he very meticulous planned for years so that he could get to living his passion. He had achieved financial independence so that his lifestyle will not fluctuate even if he failed in his assignment. Yet, his thoughts were messing up his mornings and he would sometimes be awake in the night thinking “how am I going to do this?”

Look at yourself. Have you also been hanging in such a situation and for long?

I was recently watching a video my friend made. She made a profound statement.. The how about everything is a trap. It just keeps you hanging in that space.

It’s so true. We just keep thinking how we are going to do without actually getting up and doing what we need to. The how, is such a waste of time.

Isn’t it your fear about how your future will turn out to be that stops you from doing and keeps you in the how? It’s such a powerful habit that stops you from being you.

We are all so outcome focussed because that’s what we are taught in elementary school, in business school, literally everywhere.

Instead of focusing on life by way of measuring outcomes, if you can re-orient your approach towards life to become action centric, then the results will just turn out to be not just fine but, you’ll actually begin enjoying life.

When I assist people to take that most important step, they feel it’s a free fall. They fear. They so much want to hold onto their old habits that kept them stuck. And, when they have no choice but to face their new challenges, an inner strength comes forth which takes over their pessimism and fuels their present with a new energy. They feel liberated from their shackles of unnecessary thinking. They begin to act spontaneously. In their spontaneity, healing happens.

When life happens, the body heals and supports your every step.

It’s such a wonderful feeling. Life is never for-giving. Life is for living.

Isn’t it time you took the next step?

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She began wailing when she knew she just needed to love herself

woman-in-pain

Stiffnesses in the body, aches and pains are becoming a common occurrence these days. What is more alarming is that people in their mid thirties and forties are the ones who are complaining more about these symptoms.

Are you one of them who has stiffness or a sore neck or a back spasm? You’ll be surprised when you know what may be causing your stiffness and soreness in your neck and back.

A lady in her mid thirties came for a consultation. I performed her Nadi Pariksha. I studied my diagnosis and found that she had pain and suffering in her relationships and then she wasn’t sleeping well at all. She also had stiffness and discomfort in her neck and lower back.

She probably did not have a system to release her stress from her work and what she was accumulating at home.

Many women find themselves at odds against the family and find no other alternative but to give into the situation and carry on. They divert their mind in their work. This way the women are able to avoid confrontation but, in the bargain, the gap in their heart widens leaving them lacking in love and self worth and very stressed.

I chose to help this client by introducing her to a practice that will bring her back to loving herself and increase her self worth. These are a set of two mentally calming practices called the “Maypole Meditation” and “Connect With Your Cosmic Parents“.

I took her through the practices and she broke into tears and began wailing the moment she needed to embrace herself with love and accept herself despite all that had happened.

No one had ever told her in a long time how much she is loved and cared for.  She was just giving and giving and making others happy.

With these two practices, she knew what is more important for her right now. She just needed to embrace herself with love and accept herself. Everything else is secondary.

I followed up with Marma Chikitsa Therapy on her to relieve her pains and to remedy her disturbed sleep.

It’s just been a few days! She is sleeping well, her stiffness, aches and pains have almost left her and she can’t hide her childlike smile on her face.

Life is always giving back to you what you so desire. Whatever you choose to embrace, life simply responds.

How wonderful it’d be, if we always choose love and laughter over everything else.

It is possible to do so and live life beautifully just like you dream every now and then.

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Medicines did not cure her burning stomach and then she found her cure

Woman free of pain

She was 38 years of age. She was from northern India and was married to a only son of a semi-orthodox family. She had a son of 5 years. She had burning sensation in the stomach for over 6 years. She had consulted multiple doctors, taken multiple investigations including endoscopy and had taken multiple treatments. Despite all these, burning sensation in her stomach persisted.

She had come for a consultation. I performed her Nadi Pariksha. Before I could announce her diagnosis, she began narrating her history and events that transpired between her and her mother-in-law and how she felt humiliated. She broke down.

When she had finished, It was my turn. I began explaining to her how her judgments had created her emotions of anger, aggression, frustration, resentment and hatred towards her mother-in-law and those were the real reasons of her physical condition.

Sometimes, our parents or our parents-in-law are not the best examples of what we want to become in life and makes it difficult for us to respect them. It is not our parents’ or our parents-in-law’s fault. They grew up under different circumstances and their circumstances shaped them. They find no reason to change their behaviour and mannerisms or their attitude towards life.

We judge our parents and parents-in-laws based on what we experience with them. Our judgments of their attitude are mostly unconscious and sometimes conscious. All our judgments are tied to our experiences.  Little do we realise that our judgments can cause us to resent their behaviour and attitude so strongly that they manifest as physical symptoms in our body.

it is written in the ancient treatise Rāvana Nādi Pariksha; “Mānasou kāmou doshokopo bhavatyeva |” meaning – Desires that are born in the mind cause imbalances in our body and manifest as symptoms.

Desires are primarily of what we want to accomplish. These can be acceptance and appreciation from others, name, fame, money and wealth. The worst form of desire is wanting to control others’ attitude and their behaviour towards us. And that is what my client had desired. Her unrealised expectations of her mother-in-law towards her had caused such resentment in her that she had an abortion.

She finally realised that life is not tough, nor are the choices. Unhappiness, anger and fear are the real obstacles that she needs to get rid of. She has decided to transform her perspective of life.

She cannot forget her past. She can definitely make her present better. She is already feeling better.

With my experience of working with thousands of women, some of whom were raped, some who lost their children, who, with help from practices, did find their freedom from pain. I have come to realise that life is a teacher. And life teaches you where to look for your strengths and how you can become someone stronger in your values and strength. Some people find the person they look for who directs them towards freedom from pain. While some others are blinded by their ego of blame and disappointment and continue to live in pain. Nevertheless, everyone has their time of realisation.

I too have gone through extremely trying circumstances and challenges in life. When I opened myself to learning, I realised then and today, that life has definitely brought me to a better place.

Has your time come now? Look at yourself. You probably are ready to embrace a pain free life!

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